My life is that bit in Bob's Burgers where Tina slowly drives straight into a parked car while Bob is like, "Tina you have plenty of time, just turn the car left or right, tiNA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN OR BRAKE, ON THE LEFT JUST HIT THE BRAKE"

I feel so drained. Today was a weird mix of being productive and raging about a sexist coworker. It ended well but ugh, I need an emotional enema to flush out the toxins.

I bless the raaaaiiiins down in Aaaafricaaaaa

It's gonna take some tiiiime to do the things we never haaaaad

uwu

I’ve had a hell of a day (evening has been a lot better) so am just now catching up on toots. Hi frens 😘

yall wont ask me easy questions like "make me a mini marathon lineup" but you want to know all about my love life ;)

I see I got an anonymous question about my date toots the other day.

Me: you’re the light of my world. You fill every day with joy and warmth. I don’t know what I’d do without you by my side.

My cat: mrow

Me, through tears: th-thank you...

It’s just such a crime to make me get out of my warm bed on a chilly morning.

anyone seen my religion? i'm sure i left it somewhere round here

it has been a very good sign for my mental health that I have played the piano AND knitted AND sang to the cats (which made one of them complain) today.

okay yall, ask me some questions, because I got all revved up filling out the okcupid profile and now I want to answer more. make it so.

@0xKruzr dammit I can’t believe we are trading places next weekend, I was hoping to hang.

You know what was a great fucking movie? The Truman Show. I'm going to rant about The Truman Show now for a little while.

Great fucking movie. Possibly one of the best movies of all time. It's a movie that's been relevant for the past 20 years. And it's a movie I think about a lot. Especially in the face of existential uncertainty.

That little voice telling you that you're not interesting is a dickhead. Your sincere toots are important, your jokes are funny and your selfies are beautiful. Fight the urge to hide away. You're worth listening to.

when I first ran D&D, my grandmother, who had bought fully into the IT'S SATANISM hype, insisted on sitting and watching the first session

about an hour in, she threw her hands up and yelled 'THIS IS JUST MATH' and stormed off

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We're really just here for the pineapples. Dancing Pineapple